Wee One - from October 19, 2016

much-anticipated wee one

your due date has come and gone and much like your father, you are unhurried, taking life as it comes, without rushing but enjoying each moment as it is

i think of you enjoy the last hour’s in the safety and warmth of your mother’s womb where every need is instantly met, where nourishment is instantly available, and where the variable intensity of the light, sound and warmth is somewhat dampened and where each of her movements brings you cozy comfort.

i think about the time called “soon” whose those movements while no longer bring you comfort but will force you into the world of those who can hardly wait to see you

and in that process I hope you hurry a little because we have all waited a long time and it is time we met you

after all we are amazing and you are even more so

safe journey, little one

you are in my heart as always, Grandma

Uncle Ed's Reminder

Growing up in my family of origin, I learned the very significant lesson that family is not restricted by the definition of blood relation.  There are many people in my life who are my family....Ed Barbin was one of these people and it is to him, I dedicate this post.

Uncle Ed is married to my Auntie Ruth.  I have known and been loved by them for 45 years.  Their daughter, Katherine, was my childhood friend, and their daughter, Janet, was our long-suffering babysitter.

I have had many gut wrenching, soul destroying moments in the last 9 months, and my guilt about the burden I am to my precious husband has weighed deeply on me.  Brian has been selfless...and I have been on the receiving end of so much grace.

I was bemoaning the fact that I was such a burden to Brian, and my Uncle Ed dealt with that guilt with 7 simple words.  He reminded me of a promise that was made 23 years ago.  He reminded me, "He made the same vows you did."  

And in the moment, I realized that Brian is in this with me.   Twenty three years ago, he vowed, "I, Brian, take you, Laura , to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

Thank you Uncle Ed for reminding of Brian’s promise.  Because of you, I will remember it always.  Enjoy heaven!

I love Lucy

Its funny how a child you have never held, holds a deep and special place in your heart.  Yesterday we found out that our precious grand baby was a girl.  Her parents have named her Lucy Margaret and she has become more real.  We already loved and missed her, but now we have a gender and a name - now I can see her in my mind's eye.

We believe in life after death so it is comforting to know that Lucy is not alone. Both my sisters-in-law experienced the loss of a child - one in the early stages of pregnancy, and one 2 hours and 11 minutes after giving birth.  We believe that those wee ones continue their existence in a place where there is no brokenness, no pain, and no loss - hallelujah!  Lucy will meet her namesake, Margaret was Lucy's great grandma.

Images of this Lucy playing, listening to stories, cuddling, flit through my mind. Her parents are not with her but her Heavenly Father is - and He will hold her close until her parents reunite with her, for this is the Hope to which we have been called.

Take a hug, Lucy.  Your grandma loves you.